It wasn’t the upside-down crosses in your mansion
or even the lone, giant cigarette burning in the sky.
You walked me around and I watched the back of your head
suddenly overcome by the feeling of knowing
I was beyond what could be recovered from
the dark pixels of the forest vibrating in a virtual wind
distant panpipe music blowing through your speakers
It’s not that I didn’t love you before
it is just – there are some things which cannot be said
and some feelings which, if articulated too early
and forced towards the surface go blind
& it’s better to hold them off, or wait them out
& never say their name aloud until the pressure of what is unspoken
becomes impossible to hold back
and articulates itself within the body
like mice, running wild through a field of burning grass.
The train disappears underground and comes back up again
The cigarette distributes its vague cancers into the sky
Outside the sky is firing navy shadows like a T-shirt gun
And spring is on the wind like wifi
When I was miserable you came and showed me card tricks
When the moon was full we pissed into the bushes like animals
I watch you sleep, like a security guard looking at a famous painting
with a searchlight
walk me to the graveyard on the edge of your map
nothing must hurt you, not even me
or even the lone, giant cigarette burning in the sky.
You walked me around and I watched the back of your head
suddenly overcome by the feeling of knowing
I was beyond what could be recovered from
the dark pixels of the forest vibrating in a virtual wind
distant panpipe music blowing through your speakers
It’s not that I didn’t love you before
it is just – there are some things which cannot be said
and some feelings which, if articulated too early
and forced towards the surface go blind
& it’s better to hold them off, or wait them out
& never say their name aloud until the pressure of what is unspoken
becomes impossible to hold back
and articulates itself within the body
like mice, running wild through a field of burning grass.
The train disappears underground and comes back up again
The cigarette distributes its vague cancers into the sky
Outside the sky is firing navy shadows like a T-shirt gun
And spring is on the wind like wifi
When I was miserable you came and showed me card tricks
When the moon was full we pissed into the bushes like animals
I watch you sleep, like a security guard looking at a famous painting
with a searchlight
walk me to the graveyard on the edge of your map
nothing must hurt you, not even me
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