I KNEW I LOVED YOU WHEN YOU SHOWED ME YOUR MINECRAFT WORLD

It wasn’t the upside-down crosses in your mansion

or even the lone, giant cigarette burning in the sky.

You walked me around and I watched the back of your head

suddenly overcome by the feeling of knowing

I was beyond what could be recovered from

the dark pixels of the forest vibrating in a virtual wind

distant panpipe music blowing through your speakers

It’s not that I didn’t love you before

it is just – there are some things which cannot be said

and some feelings which, if articulated too early

and forced towards the surface go blind

& it’s better to hold them off, or wait them out

& never say their name aloud until the pressure of what is unspoken

becomes impossible to hold back

and articulates itself within the body

like mice, running wild through a field of burning grass.

The train disappears underground and comes back up again

The cigarette distributes its vague cancers into the sky

Outside the sky is firing navy shadows like a T-shirt gun

And spring is on the wind like wifi

​

When I was miserable you came and showed me card tricks

When the moon was full we pissed into the bushes like animals

I watch you sleep, like a security guard looking at a famous painting

with a searchlight

walk me to the graveyard on the edge of your map

nothing must hurt you, not even me